Oh yoga..
Our relationship has changed quite a lot over the last six months.
Before I put us 'on a break' you had a strange hold over me.
You teased me with my oh-so-slightly-firmer stomach, you filled my vocabulary with words phrases such as "Hatha", "Namaste", "Downwards Dog" and most of all - "Fold", a word that now fills me with quiet fear (Oh god how long do I have to fold for? Is my stomach meant to burn this much??) of my not-completely-straight-back being pointed out by my teacher - it usually is.
Our relationship has changed quite a lot over the last six months.
Before I put us 'on a break' you had a strange hold over me.
You teased me with my oh-so-slightly-firmer stomach, you filled my vocabulary with words phrases such as "Hatha", "Namaste", "Downwards Dog" and most of all - "Fold", a word that now fills me with quiet fear (Oh god how long do I have to fold for? Is my stomach meant to burn this much??) of my not-completely-straight-back being pointed out by my teacher - it usually is.
Now, I can't post about my (very limited) experience with yoga without taking note of the things I have overheard that made me stifle a giggle (Or snort,whatever,I don't care if you know I snort occasionally when I laugh. So what? Don't give me that look. EVERYBODY DOES IT SOMETIMES,OKAY?)
Breathe it into existence.
You know I don't know what this means. I try to understand! I get the whole "breathing techniques will calm you down and you can stretch more successfully,etc...) But I don't speak mumbo-jumbo. You know I don't. You evil man.
Breathing it into existence just makes me think of CPR. Eugh *shivers*
You know I don't know what this means. I try to understand! I get the whole "breathing techniques will calm you down and you can stretch more successfully,etc...) But I don't speak mumbo-jumbo. You know I don't. You evil man.
Breathing it into existence just makes me think of CPR. Eugh *shivers*
The spiritual energy of the muscles.
Okay,I'm sorry I don't have as much faith in what you call 'spiritual energy' (what I call moving my limbs about, you seem to think is magical, and if so, that's quite brilliant. I wish I still found things magical like that * sheds one single tear *. (See Also: Spiritual Flow of the room.)
Okay,I'm sorry I don't have as much faith in what you call 'spiritual energy' (what I call moving my limbs about, you seem to think is magical, and if so, that's quite brilliant. I wish I still found things magical like that * sheds one single tear *. (See Also: Spiritual Flow of the room.)
The spiritual flow of the room.
No! I don't understand it! Stop saying it! And if you are going to insist on saying things like this, explain yo'self.
Do you mean that the room is alive? (And if so, is it with music or without?)
Do you mean that you like the feng shui? (If so,that's another thing we gotta talk about.)
No! I don't understand it! Stop saying it! And if you are going to insist on saying things like this, explain yo'self.
Do you mean that the room is alive? (And if so, is it with music or without?)
Do you mean that you like the feng shui? (If so,that's another thing we gotta talk about.)
Lengthen your muscles outwards.
You know what Mr. Yoga-man? You spend quite a lot of the class duration correcting me, when you've repeatedly ordered me (Yes! No matter how soft your voice is and how 'chillaxed' you are, you are still ordering me about!) to do the above - lengthening my muscles outwards. Hey, want me to stretch that way? This way? Sure. Want me to use these muscles and not those ones? Fantastic. So why do you insist on using phrases that clearly aren't getting your message across?
You know what Mr. Yoga-man? You spend quite a lot of the class duration correcting me, when you've repeatedly ordered me (Yes! No matter how soft your voice is and how 'chillaxed' you are, you are still ordering me about!) to do the above - lengthening my muscles outwards. Hey, want me to stretch that way? This way? Sure. Want me to use these muscles and not those ones? Fantastic. So why do you insist on using phrases that clearly aren't getting your message across?
Learn to listen to the path of your body.
Yes, you read that correctly. I don't even... Nope.
Yes, you read that correctly. I don't even... Nope.
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